Beautiful Boy

On this day 14 years ago, my life changed forever. In fact as I begin writing this, it is about 14 years and 14 minutes to be exact since my son, Jacob Michael Nicholas, Jake to the rest of the world, came into this world at Good Samaritan Hospital in Downtown Phoenix, Arizona. Nothing can prepare you for the birth of your first child, you can read all the books about what to expect and listen to all the expert advice, but being a parent is one of those things that you can’t possibly know about until you do it, and then once you do it you can hardly imagine that there was a time when you weren’t a parent.

But enough about me and how becoming a dad impacted my life, this is all about my boy. Jake turns 14 today, and quite simply he is, along with his sister Chloe, my pride and joy. I wish I could take credit for the people that they are, obviously as a parent you have an impact on things, but they are unique individuals with their own temperaments, their own personalities, their own favorite sports teams and activities, and their own outlook on the world. They are, along with their mom and my own parents, my in-laws, and my little brother, the best people I know and I am so fortunate to have them in my life, they make me better as a person and they make life what it is, which is beautiful and sweet and worth living well every single day.

My boy is everything a dad could ever ask for. He is sweet and kind, loving and genuine. He is good to his mom, he gives her such pleasure, and he has a sense for when she is down and an ability to pump her back up in a way that only a faithful and loving son can do. In general he is just a pleasure to be around. Jake is a family guy through and through, he understands the true meaning of family and he understands and practices loyalty, which is one of the most important qualities anyone can exhibit.

Jake may only be 14, but he is indeed a young man, the boy has gone away along with his baby fat. His once pudgy boyish frame has turned into a lean, muscular, athletic physique, the kind that makes young girls turn their heads when he walks into a room, and the type that makes old guys smile with the memories of when they were younger. Jake has a presence about him that commands respect and admiration from those who know him. You can see it in the way his buddies’ eyes light up when he approaches them. He has a wicked sense of humor, a natural trash talker but one who can do it in a way that lets you know he is doing it out of love and not with any bad intent. He sees humor and irony in various situations that you wouldn’t expect from one so young. He is mature and intelligent and has all the social graces and etiquette you would expect from one much older than he.

Jake is a great athlete, a gentleman, and a scholar. He is independent minded and accountable for his actions. He takes matters into his own hands, for instance he signed up for honors classes for high school without being urged to do so or told to, he knows what needs to be done and he does it. He has lofty goals when it comes to sports, he wants to play college football for the USC Trojans, and if he stays healthy he just might accomplish that goal, but he is also wise enough to know that you have to have plans in case sports don’t work out. He takes his studies seriously and puts the same passion and level of commitment into them as he does his athletic pursuits, and for that matter everything he does.

Jake is level headed and even tempered, and on this count I certainly can take no credit whatsoever. I wish I could be like he is in that regard, he is slow to anger and quick to forgive, again showing a sense of perspective and maturity far beyond his years. Jake has a great financial sense about him and is wise with his money, he is much more apt to save than to spend, yet another trait of his that I wish I had. When he was little his mom and I needed to borrow some of his cash, and he agreed, on the stipulation that we pay him back with interest. Never mind that the rate he wanted would make the manager of a Payday Loan establishment blush, he knew what he wanted and he held out until he got it. And he got it, we borrowed ten bucks and paid him back fifteen.

Jake is my sports partner, there is nobody I would rather watch a ballgame with, nobody I would rather exchange ideas with, nobody I would rather explain things to or tell stories about the old days to. There is no one that I would rather play a round of golf with, and nobody that I would rather have riding shotgun on the long drive up to the Sierras that we do every summer. For someone who claims to hate long drives, he sure makes them go by quicker with his sharp wit and interesting questions, not to mention his ability to humor his old man when I give him one of my inevitable long rambling answers.

When he was really little my biggest fear used to be that something would happen to me and that he would never know his dad, and that I would never know him. Don’t get me wrong, I certainly hope to be around for a long time and to see him continue to develop into the fine young man and wonderful person that he is on the road to becoming. I want to see him play high school ball, and maybe beyond, I want to see him go off to college and start a career and get married and have a family of his own. I want to know him as an adult and be able to tell him so many things that I can’t quite talk about with him yet. But if something were to happen to me tomorrow, I know that my boy is on his way in life. I also know that I could count on him to take care of the family, to be there for his mom and his sister, and to be the man of the house. That is something that makes a dad feel a certain comfort, knowing that the people I love the most in this world would be in good hands.

Having said all of that, I’m certainly hoping to see my beautiful boy become a man, and to share many more moments and memories together. In one of my favorite movies, “Dances With Wolves”, there is a scene where Kicking Bird is talking to Dances With Wolves, and tells him, “Of all the paths in life, there is one that matters. That is the path of a true human being. You are on this path, and it is good to see.” Jake, you are on this path, and no words on a page can express how it makes my heart feel to see and to know that. Time is moving by much too quickly, and the little boy that I once laid across my chest as a newborn and read the sports page to is now on the verge of becoming a full-fledged man. I love my boy, I cherish the moments I have with him, and I look forward to seeing him continue on the path that matters the most, thankful that he is in my life and fortunate to be a part of his.