The Seagull

I have tickets to the symphony tonight, tickets I got at a great discount a few months ago for a performance of Beethoven. My first visit to the symphony awhile back was very enjoyable, I bought the tickets through my school, which is a performing arts school, and the discount was available because our strings teacher’s husband is a musician with the Phoenix symphony, and she is able to procure what are normally $50 seats for only $5 a pop. So the tickets have already been paid for and I didn’t have to pay that much at that.

So most likely I won’t be going tonight, although I would love to and would enjoy it a great deal no doubt. I love the music and the venue downtown, and I am always fascinated by watching live music performed, focusing on the various members of the orchestra as they practice their craft and perform something of beauty.

No, I won’t be going in all likelihood because as much as I would enjoy the evening, it would mean giving up what I enjoy even more on a Saturday night, which is my usual routine of picking up some takeout, relaxing in front of the TV in the family room with my wife and son, and sometimes but rarely my daughter who is usually off at a friend’s house on Saturday night. I’ll enjoy good food, I’m hoping for Jo-Jo’s tonight because I’m in the mood for their baked ziti, catching up on a few of our favorite shows, probably Friday Night Lights, which is one of the most intelligent and human shows on, and Criminal Minds, which is a fascinating look into the subject matter of the title.

I’ll sit out back with my wife after the shows are over, and enjoy my Saturday night special, vodka and lemonade, enjoy conversation about the problems of the world with my partner, perhaps read some, and then comfortably retire for the evening. It may not sound like the most exciting Saturday night, it may not be the most hip or urbane way to spend an evening, but it is my way, and at my age I’ve learned that doing things my way is always preferable to doing things to impress others or to fit into an idea of a lifestyle defined as desirable by society.

I am a seagull, returning time and time again to my favorite lake, enjoying the familiar surroundings and the beauty to which I have become accustomed. I love the rhythms and the tempo of my lake, the familiar landmarks and the way the sun shines on certain sections at a particular time of day, the way the trees on the shore appear at various times of the year, the steadiness and consistency of it all.

Some birds are more migratory I suppose, they prefer to be constantly on the move, in search of new adventures and novel experiences. Those birds would go to the symphony, then hit up a swank and trendy club or coffee house after, mix and mingle with the other beautiful and interesting birds. There is something to be said for that lifestyle. I do enjoy an evening out from time to time, and I tell myself often that I need to get out and about more often, to go the symphony, and the theater, to see more live music, eat out, catch a movie once in awhile. I’m not a fan of the clubs or bar scenes per se, if I’m with the right flock it’s a good time, but mostly I find it to be a bore, forced and contrived, and I have a problem paying so much more for drinks than I would if I was sitting at home enjoying the atmosphere of my lake, for a fraction of the price no less.

I’m not opposed to new experiences, to exploring new horizons, but to everything there is a tradeoff. Sure, there may be some other lake out there that is more beautiful or more interesting than mine, but I like what I know and love, what makes me comfortable and what I enjoy. It’s why I generally consider all the options on the menu when I go out to eat but inevitably come back to the same entrée that I always get. It’s why I faithfully put on my same pair of comfortable old jeans in the winter, and my same pair of comfortable cargo shorts all summer long. It’s why I love the idea of traveling to new places, and hope one day to be able to, but why ultimately the only trip that I truly care about making is my week or two up in the Sierras every summer, to the same town and lakes and backcountry hikes that I know and love. It’s why I prefer the usual Saturday night routine that I enjoy and look forward to all week.

I am a seagull, it is who I am, in my DNA I suppose. There are other more exotic birds and maybe their lives and experiences are better than mine, but I doubt it, because mine is pretty damn good. My lake may not be the most known or the hippest place to see and be seen, but it’s mine, I know it intimately and it makes me feel alive in a world that is worth living in. So every once in awhile I may venture up and away, beyond the horizon, over the snow covered peaks and pine groves and explore uncharted territory, that appeals as well to my sense of adventure and of gaining new knowledge about new places. But I’ll always return to my lake, at the same times and in the same motions, searching out the familiar spots, sounds, sights, smells and emotions that it provokes within me. I am a seagull, and while there are other ways to live and other types of birds to be, this life, this lake, this way of being suits me just fine, and there’s no other place or other way I’d want to be.