The Third Wave

The way I understand it, there have been two previous waves of the feminist movement in America, the first dating back to the middle of the 19th century where women like Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Lucretia Mott petitioned for voting rights, or suffrage for the female population. It is assumed that once political rights are granted, that the exercise of such will lead to additional rights and more opportunities. While this is true to an extent, it is my understanding that in the early years of women gaining the franchise, which was finally accomplished in the early 20th century, it was not particularly utilized for the betterment of the gender, most women who did vote did so in agreement with their husbands, and the examples of females holding political office or wielding power behind the scenes are rare.

The second wave began in the 1960’s, an era of protest in general, against social conventions considered to be oppressive, against the war in Vietnam (imagine that, people having the courage to not stand by idly while young men were sent off to fight in a war of choice) and protest against sexism and gender discrimination. This was the era of sexual freedom for women made possible by the pill, a demand for more opportunities in the workplace, a push for an equal rights amendment that was never realized, and by the more militant wing of the movement the burning of bras and a rejection of any role that was associated with traditional femininity as being inherently repressive.

In many ways, women have gained what they sought, and it is my contention that we are much better as a society for it. I believe firmly in the notion expressed by Dr. King, that if any of our brothers or sisters are in chains, then none of us are truly free, if one of us feels the weight of oppression that burden is shared by the society in general, that what affects one of us affects all of us. Women are free to pursue an education in the field of their choice, and have the opportunity to become what they wish to become. While there are still certain barriers in the workplace and specific industries that are male bastions, and while equal pay for comparable work is still a goal that must be pursued, as the line goes, you’ve come a long ways baby.

So where does the notion of feminism go from here? White middle aged conservative males have tried their best to maintain the status quo, as terms like feminazi (coined I believe by the ultra WMACM Rush Limbaugh) attest to, but for the most part women have shed the slave mentality that kept them from realizing their potential in the earlier days. The question then becomes, what do you do with power once you have it? My hope is that together with enlightened members of the male species, we can build a better, more just, compassionate, and ultimately more humane world to live in. My fear is that women will take what has been dearly bought and squander it on becoming just like men. There are plenty of signs of this if you look around.

Women today are more likely to swear in public, sport multiple tattoos, practice casual sex, cheat on their mates, have beer guts, and act ruthlessly and with little compassion in the workplace. In other words, we are in danger of simply doubling the male population! The one male prerogative still unavailable to women is the ability to go shirtless in public, although it has become apparently acceptable for women to have half of their boobs hanging out of their tops, and to wear the sheerest possible coverings, to the point of where nipples have become a public commodity. Not to sound too prudish, but is all of this really progress? While I am certainly no pious Muslim man who averts all glances at the fairer sex, I am admittedly old school when it comes to certain things being best left to the imagination.

Leave it to a man to go off on a tangent about women’s breasts, let me get back to my main idea, which is the question of where this new, third wave if you will, of feminism should take us. My feeling is that a woman should not need a man, but should not bash males for sport either. A woman can certainly live a meaningful life without male companionship, as Catherine Sloper, the protagonist of Henry James’ novel Washington Square did after being jilted by the snake Morris Townsend. Along with her father, the men in Catherine’s life were disappointing, but she nonetheless carves out an existence with merit in the mid 19th century, an era well before feminist notions had entered our consciousness. Yet to my way of seeing it, men and women are more complete as humans when we join together, there is much to be said for being able to see the world from each other’s perspective, and we are infinitely more productive when we are allies rather than adversaries.

My hope is that men will become less macho, while retaining a certain toughness and sense of honor and duty that serves us well, and that we will become more enlightened and appreciative of the world and the people around us. My hope for women is that they will maintain their unique and wonderful feminine qualities of nurturing and compassion and empathy, while continuing to assert their strength and courage and independence. Men aren’t from Mars, and women aren’t from Venus, we both share planet Earth, and the best hope for a better society here is for the two genders to blend the best qualities of each, to teach and to learn from each other, and if it is done properly, there may not be a need for a fourth wave of feminism.