C'mon Man!

My favorite segment this year on Monday Night Countdown, the pregame show to Monday Night Football, is one where the hosts show clips of players doing dumb stuff on the field and at the end of each clip they give a resounding, c'mon man! As in, are you kidding me, or to quote the great John McEnroe line directed at a line judge, you cannot be serious! So in that vein, I present today's column.

Apparently in Sarah Palin's new book there is a quote that is attributed to the legendary UCLA basketball coach John Wooden, a quote that has nothing to do with basketball or even resembles any lessons on life that a coach might impart. But this didn't prevent Mrs. Palin from using it, and also escaped the fact checkers that are supposed to find such obvious errors. The quote is from an American Indian chief named John Woodenlegs. Oops. I guess that's what happens when somebody who doesn't even read books writes one, the whole notion of accuracy and actually doing research and knowing what you are talking about goes by the wayside. Of course when your target audience for the most part shares and even basks in the glory of anti-intellectualism why sweat the small stuff, like knowing who you are quoting when you are making some inane commentary on politics and the world as you see it. C'mon man!

We'll come back to Sarah Palin later, but now it's time to move across the political spectrum to that one, the man who offered such great promise and hope but has so far delivered very little of either, the man, the myth, the reigning Nobel Peace Prize winner, President Barack Obama. As far as I can tell, his peace prize resume included giving a heck of a speech in Cairo a few months back speaking intelligently and respectfully towards the Arab and Muslim world and offering hope on both sides of the cultural divide for more peaceful relations between the West and the Greater Middle East. For that I commend him. He also paid some lip service to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, promising to serve as a more neutral honest broker in a way that President Bush, influenced by his born again Protestant beliefs and brainwashed to view Israel as being in the right regardless of little annoyances like actual evidence, could never be.

But then as Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu proceeds to do everything in his power to perpetuate the situation by allowing settlements to continue unabated in the West Bank, Obama remains as silent and middle of the road as he can be. Ditto on the issue of Tibet-China relations, unwilling to do anything to antagonize our financial benefactors in Beijing, he has failed to support the Tibetan cause of independence by refusing to meet with their moral and spiritual leader the Dalai Lama. Apparently our freedom initiative only extends so far, we'll spend the lives of thousands of soldiers and hundreds of billions to fight for the freedom of Iraqis and Afghans (or so we're led to believe) but for Palestinians and Tibetans our leadership is unwilling to even talk the talk, let alone walk the walk.

And for these grand accomplishments, the Norwegians in their infinite wisdom have awarded our president the highest honor in the realm of international diplomacy. To my way of thinking, in order to fight for something you have to be prepared to stand up to opposition. Martin Luther King didn't stay silent regarding Bull Connor, nor did Gandhi try to appease the British, or Nelson Mandela excuse the behavior of White South African apartheid leaders. The bar has certainly been lowered for this award, maybe Tiger Woods will be next year's recipient. C'mon man!

Speaking of the world's greatest golfer, how about good old Tiger. This guy seemingly had it all, wealth, prestige, respect, admiration, and accomplishment. Not to mention a beautiful wife and family. Turns out he also had a Cadillac Escalade with a faulty GPS system, led him right when he should have gone left. I'm sure if his jerk off caddy Steve Williams was in the passenger seat that night he would have given him better directions, or at least would have beat the crap out of the TMZ photographers who showed up on the scene and then proceeded to destroy their cameras.

If Tiger was such a player and enjoyed the company of multiple women, why not stay single and enjoy the life of wealth, celebrity, and constant companionship? Why not do it like Derek Jeter, nobody has a problem with Jeter showing up at events with a different girl on his arm, heck most guys and probably women too think it's cool. But memo to Eldrick, when you make the decision to get married and have kids the rules of the game change. We've seen the son of Earl get out of some impressive jams on the course over the years, this will be one of the biggest he's ever had to negotiate, and while time usually heals all wounds and most reputations, right now his chances of salvaging par aren't looking too good. Sanctimonious and cocksure sure looks different on the way down, you had it all Tiger but you just couldn't keep the putter in the bag. C'mon man!

A few quickies before the finale, starting with the Snowbowl ski resort north of Flagstaff, Arizona. The high country just got hit with a big winter storm earlier in the week that dumped a couple feet of fresh powder, the perfect motivation for city dwellers to pack up and head north for a day or two of local skiing. Only problem is that the mountain won't be opening for another week or two, by which time the fresh powder will have crusted over and the snow making machines will no doubt be pumping out snow cone ice that tries to pass itself off as the real thing. Who runs this place, and what kind of ski resort would fail to open after such a gift from nature, especially in Arizona which isn't guaranteed to get another such present anytime soon. C'mon man!

The person in line in front of me at Starbucks who delays my getting a refill on my cup of gold old-fashioned American coffee with an order that requires reference to note cards to execute. As if it wasn't enough to order your triple shot mocha latte yuppie bastachino with 18 pumps and extra whip, you've got to grab a blueberry bliss pumpkin spice cake from the pastry display. And you wonder why your fat ass is so big that you qualify to drive solo in the car pool lane during rush hour. C'mon man!

I can't leave this column without going back to old faithful, Sarah Palin, who I am rooting for by the way to gain the GOP nomination in 2012. My hope is that a race between the King of the (Middle of the) Road and the Nanook of the North will spur the American electorate to finally junk the two party system in favor of a third party, or even a multi-party system that could offer a true shot at reforming a largely broken political system. I heard that Sarah Palin recently wrote an op-ed in the Washington Post, so first off I have to shout out to the Post for allowing such an uneducated and ignorant blowhard and demagogue to write in their editorial pages, good job Washington Post. I hope the increased sales you got on that day and the hits on your website were worth the loss of credibility with intelligent citizens. C'mon man!

But back to Palin, the topic of her column was that Obama should not go to Copenhagen for the recent conference on climate change, because that would only encourage the radical environmental movement that is behind this sinister plan to destroy the world economy by facilitating the great lie that is global warming. Of course no one has of yet explained to me who benefits from such a nefarious plan, one that would be unprecedented in the extent of world leaders, scientists, and observers who would all have to be in cahoots to pull off this scam in the first place. The climate change deniers make about as much sense as the people who are convinced that 9/11 was an inside job, but common sense and logic have never been the strong suits of good conspiracy theories. Better to believe that the New World Order and the cabal that controls the world's money supply will somehow benefit from the great climate hoax and therefore we should all be wary of those who present scientific data and evidence.

Look, science is never settled, and there are legitimate arguments to be made that the effects of climate change may be less than anticipated and that the costs of taking certain action may be too high in relation to the benefits they will provide. We should be continuing to research and accumulate data and debating over consequences and solutions. But to suggest that nothing is really happening is to bury our heads in the sand, the overwhelming evidence in so far, both scientific and anecdotal suggests that plenty is indeed happening. To propose that nothing can be done is ridiculous, there are plenty of steps that individuals, corporations, and governments can and should take, starting with getting serious about using renewable energy sources to replace fossil fuels such as carbon to meet our increasing global energy demand. And to listen to Sarah Palin as some sort of expert on the matter is just plain silly. Yet no doubt many of her legions of loyalists will take her word on the matter as gospel and refuse to support common sense legislation dealing with the issue. Score that one as a victory for (Grand)Mama Palin and a setback for Mother Earth, and for those of us who care about her long term health and the impact on our own lives if we continue to mess up the planet we live on. C'mon Man!