In Defense of Marriage

Borrowing from the so-called defense of marriage act for the title, here is my version of the defense of the institution that I am a proud member of. Simply put, the recent decision by the California Supreme Court is one that will not only strengthen marriage, but one which advances civil rights and human dignity for all members of society, gay and straight alike. It is a decision which I applaud whole-heartedly and one which makes me proud that I am a native Californian, especially living in my adopted state of Arizona, which I love, but which has a less than stellar history when it comes to respecting civil rights and celebrating diversity. When I first moved here in the late 80's the issue was the lack of a holiday honoring Martin Luther King, one of the greatest Americans in my book, and it took the threat of losing the Super Bowl to get AZ to become the last or next to last state to officially recognize the holiday. Currently we are known for having the toughest immigration laws in the nation, and while I support comprehensive immigration reform, the Arizona approach is more punitive and based on racism than it is motivated by a desire to bring about sensible and humane reforms. Gay marriage in the Grand Canyon State? That seems about as likely right now as a 75 degree day in July, or for that matter a 75 degree night in July. So I will simply applaud and take pride in my native California for doing the right thing on this important issue.



I would like to say that there are legitimate arguments on both sides of the issue. I try to see all sides of issues, even those I feel passionate about. I try to see the merits of a John McCain presidency even though I am a staunch Obama supporter. (I don't see any merits by the way, but at least I've tried) I listen to the legitimate concerns of the other camp in the immigration debate, and think that their concerns can be combined with my concerns, which are namely focused on the children of immigrants who have very few options to further their education and become fully productive members of society once they graduate from high school. I see both sides of the abortion debate, I actually side with the Republicans on free trade issues, at least in theory, as I do on some fiscal issues. I believe, as do many conservatives, that morals and values should be taught in the public schools, not limited to, but also not excluding what would be considered religious teachings. The major world religions offer us much wisdom and knowledge and we should not ignore this, the first amendment in my opinion was never intended to eliminate religious debate from the public square but was merely intended to ensure that no one belief system would have priority over others. I believe, unlike most public educators I know, that President Bush's No Child Left Behind Act, while not perfect, has been generally good for our educational system because it has led to much greater accountability. My point is that while I am a staunch liberal and progressive in most realms, I appreciate other viewpoints and am not afraid to adopt them if I am so moved, even though it causes me to receive grief and consternation from some of my liberal friends who see me as a traitor to the cause. My cause is the common good as I see it, and I'll take good ideas from whichever direction they come, left, right, or straight down the middle. But I just don't see any legitimate, rational, reasonable arguments against allowing people who are in love and wanting to marry to do so just because they are gay or lesbian.

The most common arguments are that somehow if you allow gay people to marry that it will demean the institution of marriage. What demeans the institution of marriage is people that don't take it seriously, get married when they aren't really in love, have kids when they can't even take care of themselves, and then divorce at the first sign of trouble. Another argument against allowing gays and lesbians to marry is the old slippery slope argument. It goes basically like this, if you allow gay people to marry, the next step is to allow adults to marry children, or farm animals, and next thing you know someone is getting married to a hunk of cheese. And if we allow people to marry hunks of cheese, well that's the fourth sign of the apocalypse. OK, so maybe that's a little ridiculous, but the point is that the arguments against gay marriage are mostly ridiculous. Another commonly used argument is the religious aspect, that homosexuality is a sin and goes against the Bible. Personally, I read the Bible, and I've never come across anything mentioning homosexuality. Not that I'm denying it's in there, but I've never seen it mentioned in the parts that I read, in the Septuagint in the Old Testament, or in the Gospels, or in the Psalms or Proverbs. It's not like there is a commandment that thou shalt not love members of the same sex and commit to them for life. There is however plenty about loving thy neighbor and respecting one another, I guess it just depends on what you want to focus on. If your church tells you that homosexuality is a sin, so be it, who am I to tell you how you should feel or think. But who are you to tell me or anyone else who we can love and decide to share our lives with.

Civil unions are not enough, that is second class citizenship and that is inherently un-American. It's not just about being able to share health benefits or having power of attorney, although those are practical considerations that are important. To my way of thinking, it is about the fundamental freedom of association, of being able to follow your heart, to live life as you see fit, to love who you choose to love, and to express that love publicly in the same way that heterosexual people are able to do. Anything less is a denial of civil rights, and basic human rights, period. If the tables were turned, and being straight was shunned and looked down upon by many, if straight people had to deal with discrimination in the workplace and ridicule by small minded barbarians, would I stop loving my wife, would I feel any less worthy than the gay majority? The answer is a resounding hell no! I would love her with all my heart and all my soul, just as I do now, and if people didn't like it then that's on them. So I will defend the right of all people to marry, and hope that both gay and straight people honor their commitments and bring more love to a world that can always use more of it.